I got up from my bed and did my daily routines. I stretched out my body and relaxed my mind for a moment. With all the negative emotions and experiences that were about to break through my bones yesterday, I do hope so it won’t happen again this day and henceforth. I enjoyed the calmness of silence on my bed as the sweet caress of wind touches my soul. I found a place beside the window and had my eyes toured around the refreshing panorama outside. Wow!! Feels like I want to do something different and unforgettable today. With the smell of syrupy coffee on my right hand, it made me enjoy the whole thing.
Then oh! My focus went into something else. Yah right! My phone of which I can’t live without (before). I checked the inbox when suddenly; an unsaved number which I am very much familiar of destructed my senses. I had never saved his number again though foolish as it may sound; the digits are already engraved in my mind. I do want to respond but no, not anymore as what I have promised to myself. It’s hard for me to see reality that he only sends messages when he wants to, not because he knows it’s one of his responsibilities. I wonder how everything changed but I know one thing for sure, he’s totally out of his mind and I don’t want to bother myself anymore.
It’s a great Friday morning as I stepped out from the house and followed the same tracks all the way to school. I know, I know, I am used to inform him when I have to walk somewhere because he usually gets mad if I don’t and that’s going to be a trouble for the both of us again.
I took my seat at the bus and as the driver started the engine, it reminded me of our vague yet good memories of which I have always thought would last forever. I missed those times when I feel like someone’s monitoring my plans and actions because he cares. Way back when someone keeps on reminding me about my meals and not to stress myself too much. After my classes, I missed it when I used to look forward on travelling back home because someone’s waiting for me to arrive at the bus terminal. Everything reminds me of him, even the bus itself wherein we also made great laughters and sweet talks. I want to trace things, from those wonderful recollections which turned out to be some kind of a nightmare. Oh well, I guess it would be much better if I just stay away from those thoughts and have my mind set on something else…something which will truly make me happy.
“Bisan unsa pa nimo kahigugma ang usa ka tawo, kung dili siya kabalo muhatag ug insaktong importansya, mapul-an rapud jud diay ka.” The last set of words which stumbled in my head. I don’t know if I could still find my way without the idea of having him, but I have to...because this is my only way out. Set myself free and begin all over again. If I made it through before, then why not make it through this time? This time when I’m already stronger because of the lessons I've learned. Just when I found out: be with someone who wants the both of you happy , not with someone who only wants himself/herself to be happy.
Starting another step without the person whom you used to be with could be very tragic, but never fear of doing it. You might not know it, while lingering on the person who hurts you most, you’re already missing the possibilities of meeting the person who’ll treat you and make you feel as the right one.
A deal with the future: “You can find love many times as you can, but you can only find TRUE LOVE once. So cherish it, if you have already found it.” (^^)
Mary Cherry Banogon Santillana Allera Sanchez
